Saturday, 2 March 2013

change :: February update


It's a funny thing, change. The most important thing I've learnt about it is that you have to do what makes you happy, even if that means not changing or especially if that means not changing. And that is my change. 

When I saw 2013 as my year of change, I thought I would embrace all of it and see it as a great achievement of my goals whatever happened. I would feel happy and hopeful in what it would bring me. Then Mum was ill and I knew immediately I didn't want that change. That was not part of the plan. Of course that's an easy one, that's not even to be considered as a part of change. So I held firmly to my one little word and set my goals for February and hoped for the best.

When other things changed, I had to pause for a moment and look deeply into what was happening. How could this word be so powerful and out of control in my life? Did I want it after all? Did I not want it? What did I mean by it, really? And that's how I learned something new about myself, my outlook on life and life in general.

When I chose my one little word, I had dreams about all the things I wanted to change, from the little ones to the big elephant size ones. For most of them, I didn't have achievable goals or well thought out plans; they were a beautifully lit dream. And with this, I forgot three things: 1. to pin things down and plan it, 2. knowing when not to change is also change, otherwise known as growing up and learning, and 3. I'm not in control of all that will change and I don't have to like it all, my word implicitly means positive change.

Yes, it's a funny thing, change. Right now, I'd like most things to stay just the same! All I can hope for is that this change works out ok...!






2 comments:

  1. I know, it's late and I should be in bed now, but happy to read your post just before bedtime and being able to say that March is a brand new month! Meteorologically, spring has started today and what I wish for you is that today is the first day of a life long series of days in which plenty of positive changes take place. As you deserve it sweet LMJ!

    xxx

    PS: on a sidenote --> did you notice how spectacularly the colours of this photo of yours match the colours of your banner? Love it, especially because of the little touch of red ... Miss you!

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  2. Oh I totally understand it! And I have to agree that having control in changing or not, is a change on it's own.
    I hope everything is going better with your mom, it must be very stressful to you right now.
    Really best wishes, and I'm sure your little changes, the ones you wish for, will happen in baby steps so you can control what's happening too :)

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