change :: January update

My one little (big) word for 2013 is change. I wrote about it earlier in the month, mentioning how change came to be my word and the joys of actually having a word. I didn't go into the specifics of what the word meant to me, nor did I reveal what my resolutions are. This arrangement worked for me but it may change as I become reacquainted with my writing and blogging from the heart.

January is ending and I look at my one little word and feel happy I chose it. I feel I have an ultimate goal for the year, so no matter how clueless I feel on a dark cold Thursday night, I still know where I'm meant to be heading. Thirty days have passed and I feel I've achieved so much more than if I had not chosen a word. Quite amazing!

change :: my approach to this blog and I love it.

change :: the way I book myself and my calendar is now a friend.

change :: how I look at small setbacks by having perspective.

change :: my view on my own plans to ensure I do what works for me.

change :: ensure I always fit in the things that need doing and are good for me, like making my own bread.

I've started with the little things that mean a lot on a daily basis. Things that ultimately improve my happiness without me realising it; it just works that way. I am looking forward to what change and I will be up to in February!

::inspiring Mondays::

“You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day, unless you're really busy; 

then you should sit for an hour."

Old zen saying

I read the quote above today and it really struck a chord with me. I don’t meditate and I’m not planning on starting now, but the quote made me think of inspiration. Perhaps when things aren’t so good is when you need to work harder at seeing the sunshine in the little bits. The minuscule bits. The whatever size bits. Perhaps inspiring Mondays are more needed when your days are as grey as the January sky in good old Britain.

When inspiring Mondays left me, it was because of the commitment of doing it for over a year on a specific day of the week, regardless of my mood or social calendar. The day inspiring Mondays return to me, is the day I need them to hold my hand for a while and tell me it will all be ok. Much in the style of Nanny McPhee, really.

:: my Mother.

:: text swapping with Mother. It’s the way she calls me daughter, a derivative word of it which makes

my heart warm.

:: dark green nail polish.

:: shiny black boots.

:: excellent housemates.

:: my friends. the ones who drop everything to hug me. and feed me. and be my rocks.

:: walking.

:: photography.

:: Project Life

Inspiring Mondays started of as my little ray of sunshine beaming through the unfair dislike people

have of… Mondays.

Inspiring Mondays developed to become my search for said little ray of sunshine on grey days. And

blue days. And yellow days. And any colour days, really!

Some days you have to work harder than others at being happy.

being good pays off

image via here

A friend of mine asked if I could make him some curtains. I hate making curtains. Therefore, I said yes. Hard logic, no? Yes... and no. How to say no when a friend asks you for a favour, something you can actually help them with? So you say yes. And you moan your way through to the finished curtains, because that's what you do and it makes the whole thing much funnier. You give yourself ice cream at the end of it. You get a tough glutes workout from sewing on the floor all day. And... without you even dreaming it, said friend gives you a Spa treat with a massage and all as a thank you! Yes! Yes! Yes! 

It definitely pays off to be good and nice to people. Even if I would have done it for nothing, as I thought I was... but blimey I'm loving the thought of that spa day and deep tissue massage, oh yes I am! Thank you!

saturday in the house

Sewing curtains... ah, how I did not miss this. A full day on the floor, measuring, folding, ironing, pinning, hand sewing, more ironing, always the floor. Several BBC News, Poirots and Miss Marples later, we're almost there. As I sew along I say never ever again ever ever... but then the finished thing stares back at me, so pretty and calm and made by me and I know one day, one day, I'll fall in this trap once more... 

Positives: PJ day, yay! And coffee ice cream guilt-free as a small treat to myself, another yay!

finding a voice

Perspective

I've been delving within myself for a voice. My voice. Little Miss Joey's and mine. Two voices, I suppose. Or one that sums us up, her silly self and my nostalgic-prone-with-a-tad-of-humour self. Have you seen them anywhere? 

I keep having these questions about blogging and about this space. What is the point? What is my point?

I like it here. Little Miss Joey has the freckles I'll never admit to having and occasionally she makes me laugh belly laughs and I honestly like her. And that means I like the space we have here. I love going through the archives for these two years of blogging and seeing bits of my life here; a sunshine-edited version of my life, but my life nonetheless. Images with a story. Images with words I could not remember writing but that my fingers still feel on their tips. Pieces of me, here, documented for whenever I forget how happy I can be. Inspiring Mondays have been the best. They have reminded me of the good things in a long year, the things I so often struggled to find when writing now forever recorded for me.

Yet I question the sense of it all. It seems to me most things need a reason and I frequently need to know that reason. It was one of the hardest lessons in my life to learn how to let go of the need for reasons... and clearly one I still need to work on. Eek.

Little brother helped me with this, as he often does. I said to him I may end the blog because I couldn't see the point; he said: it's because you like writing. There it was, my reason. Simple and unequivocal. The photography illustrates my writing and not the other way around. It was the writing all along. The little snippets of life, in photography as in writing. 

As a last stop before I end my journey, I went to my Portuguese blog where the last post dates from November 2011. And it's there, my nostalgic self, the voice that never leaves me. There I find it, the reason for it all hidden in the sad words that often did not reflect my days... writing. Again the writing and my passion for it, more than for anything else I do. Writing as the constant I always go back to when everything else needs a little break.

All of a sudden, I want to write and write and write. In English and in Portuguese. Pour my heart out in words. For myself. Yes, it is good, from the heart good, to be read, but unlike all I've learnt in communications training, here I have to write for me, because it makes me happy, because it allows me to free up some space inside for other things!

while I sort myself out...

... you can read beautifully written texts by my friend Nicky. This one in particular. So wonderfully described that I could smell those prawn sandwiches (prawn sandwiches, Mister Brit, really??) and feel the excitement of the match. A must read, even if you're not a football fan.

change :: my word for 2013

Change.

The one word that makes the most sense for my 2013.

Change little things and change big things.

2013 is going to be my year of change. I don't know what will change nor how nor when, but all of the sudden change became this little big word I couldn't let go of.

When I first read Elise's post about choosing her word for 2012, I had a hard time getting it. I loved and was touched by her story, but I didn't understand the concept nor how it could last for a whole year. I put the post to the back of my mind as yet another one of those cool things you read online but that have no relevance to you. And then on my flight from home it hit me! Change!

The first thing that has changed is that I set new year resolutions for myself, measurable goals for this year. As with most things, breaking your goals into small steps really helps making them more manageable, less daunting and ultimately more achievable. I will be working on those stepping stones each month, hopefully keeping my goals in full view. 

Isn't it nice to have a plan? 

(I guess my need for plans, even if vague ones, will remain largely unchanged!)