How does one go back to one’s ‘normal’ life when one has tasted how much sweeter ‘normal’ life can be?
Michael (for that is his name) has left this morning. I did not cry. I was holding a cup of coffee with one hand and my heart with the other, for he was taking it with him (worry not, I have a spare one for bodily functions). I waved goodbye and shrank inside myself as the bus pulled away and I was left there, just me, not alone, but just me. When I go back home this evening, the house will be empty of him and our silliness. I do silly well, but there’s nothing quite like doing silly with the ones you love.
So… how does one go back to one’s ‘normal’ life? I don’t know yet. And fortunately, I won’t have to know for a few days yet. I have our Project Life album to finish, of our time together this winter before I go home for Christmas. Then there’s Christmas and Little Brother and the parents and the cats and the rest of the family and friends and all the sunshine to absorb and pack up in my happy sunshine cells. Then there’s New Year and Second New Year and… then there’s ‘normal’ life.
I may not know how to get back to ‘normal’ life, but I know I don’t want to go back. That’s a start. A start in the direction of change.