heading to 2013

I'm looking forward to 2013. This year, I have new year resolutions, a list of intentions that doesn't include eating less or working out until I drop... I like to keep it real and achievable, as well as happy! The list is making me smile, as is knowing the 1 January 2013 is just a day that follows another day that is followed by another day. There's the promise of the new with the certainty of the same all same all; just perfect!

I would like to wish you all a fabulous 2013!

Life is good!

grateful

It’s Wednesday (not Monday) and I don’t feel inspired. To be honest, I feel quite boo. However, I don’t feel as boo as I could feel, really. The more I think about it, the more I realise that while it’s not great Michael is now in a hot country far far away, the core thing is we have each other and we’re working on changing that Summer/Winter minor difference we have going on (some people would just call it distance, but that’s boring). Once I let that sink in, I am open to realising another thing: I am one lucky girl! I’m made of pure people luck.

Yesterday was not my finest day. I was sad and quiet and trying really hard to get on with things. For that, I had a little help from my friends.

:: mini brownies. Home baked. In a cute wrapping with a ribbon. I cannot explain how this lovely gift and gesture touched my day. Not only did it make it happy inside, but I got to stuff myself with these little pieces of heaven every time I felt a bit more boo. Thank you!
:: hugs and sweetness all around the office. I needed it!
:: running. Faster than I normally run. Tiring me out for the evening!
:: dinner and lemon curd maccaroons. With wine. And good chats. Delaying going home for as long as possible!

life and us

How does one go back to one’s ‘normal’ life when one has tasted how much sweeter ‘normal’ life can be?

Michael (for that is his name) has left this morning. I did not cry. I was holding a cup of coffee with one hand and my heart with the other, for he was taking it with him (worry not, I have a spare one for bodily functions). I waved goodbye and shrank inside myself as the bus pulled away and I was left there, just me, not alone, but just me. When I go back home this evening, the house will be empty of him and our silliness. I do silly well, but there’s nothing quite like doing silly with the ones you love.

So… how does one go back to one’s ‘normal’ life? I don’t know yet. And fortunately, I won’t have to know for a few days yet. I have our Project Life album to finish, of our time together this winter before I go home for Christmas. Then there’s Christmas and Little Brother and the parents and the cats and the rest of the family and friends and all the sunshine to absorb and pack up in my happy sunshine cells. Then there’s New Year and Second New Year and…  then there’s ‘normal’ life.

I may not know how to get back to ‘normal’ life, but I know I don’t want to go back. That’s a start. A start in the direction of change.

little snippets of life

LMrJ is in Oxford and has been for the last 14 days. He’s staying until the 18th, a date too far away for me to think about, but so soon I can already see it. For now though, I’m putting that to the back of my mind and I’m enjoying the ‘normal’ life we get to have.

Having a long distance relationship is hard. I thought about ways of writing this sentence in an LMJ way, but couldn’t. I couldn’t because I didn’t want to. As well as being silly, LMJ is honest (some would say blunt) and prefers to deal with reality rather than a well-dressed version of it. Long distance relationships are hard and mine is no different.

I am grateful for skype and my iPhone and mobile phones in general. And the post office for the special treats. I am grateful that we both live in countries where wireless internet is as common as electricity. I am grateful for the time difference we have that makes our life styles fit in to it just perfectly (all things considered!). But…

There’s nothing like a warm neck to heat up your freezing nose on in these cold winter days. Especially when you’re allowed to ‘steal’ its warmth. Nothing compares to the gentle touch of soft lips or a foot massage when you’re tired; or everyday, preferably! There’s no replacement for the chats you can have in person… or the silences. I love the peaceful shared silence as much as I love the talking. And let’s not even mention eating ice cream together; pure heaven!

So when people ask me what amazing things I have been doing with LMrJ I say “the ‘normal’ things”. Aren’t they amazing? I think people often forget how ordinary life is the most important bit of life. Treats are great, holidays are fabulous, special dates are brilliant, but I’m afraid we’re stuck with ordinary for the most of it and we don’t even realise how truly good that can be. Or should be.

For me, in a long distance relatiosnhip, the most amazing thing that happens everyday since having LMrJ around is waking up next to him. So simple and yet so wonderful. But there are other amazing things. Stealing his warmth (I’m cold all the time, like a little lizzard!). Deciding what’s for dinner. Doing the laundry. Watching a film under a blanket, with ice cream! Popping to tesco’s to get milk. Watching Big Bang Theory and hearing him laugh. Talking at breakfast. Having breakfast with him every single day, actually. Calling dibs for the shower…. and winning almost always!

My amazing things are all the simple things. And you know what? I love it!

P.S. – I may have to write a post on my take on long distance relationships when LMrJ is not around

anymore. But not now. Now I want to pretend he’s here forever.