finding a voice

Perspective
Perspective

I've been delving within myself for a voice. My voice. Little Miss Joey's and mine. Two voices, I suppose. Or one that sums us up, her silly self and my nostalgic-prone-with-a-tad-of-humour self. Have you seen them anywhere? 

I keep having these questions about blogging and about this space. What is the point? What is my point?

I like it here. Little Miss Joey has the freckles I'll never admit to having and occasionally she makes me laugh belly laughs and I honestly like her. And that means I like the space we have here. I love going through the archives for these two years of blogging and seeing bits of my life here; a sunshine-edited version of my life, but my life nonetheless. Images with a story. Images with words I could not remember writing but that my fingers still feel on their tips. Pieces of me, here, documented for whenever I forget how happy I can be. Inspiring Mondays have been the best. They have reminded me of the good things in a long year, the things I so often struggled to find when writing now forever recorded for me.

Yet I question the sense of it all. It seems to me most things need a reason and I frequently need to know that reason. It was one of the hardest lessons in my life to learn how to let go of the need for reasons... and clearly one I still need to work on. Eek.

Little brother helped me with this, as he often does. I said to him I may end the blog because I couldn't see the point; he said: it's because you like writing. There it was, my reason. Simple and unequivocal. The photography illustrates my writing and not the other way around. It was the writing all along. The little snippets of life, in photography as in writing. 

As a last stop before I end my journey, I went to my Portuguese blog where the last post dates from November 2011. And it's there, my nostalgic self, the voice that never leaves me. There I find it, the reason for it all hidden in the sad words that often did not reflect my days... writing. Again the writing and my passion for it, more than for anything else I do. Writing as the constant I always go back to when everything else needs a little break.

All of a sudden, I want to write and write and write. In English and in Portuguese. Pour my heart out in words. For myself. Yes, it is good, from the heart good, to be read, but unlike all I've learnt in communications training, here I have to write for me, because it makes me happy, because it allows me to free up some space inside for other things!


6 comments:

  1. Thank you for making me smile, for being the you you are, for sharing your beautiful self with the world and for letting your light shine! You are a talented woman and I have been missing you here, in cyberspace -and also in real life.

    Just read this wonderful quote in the photography course that I am doing and wanted to share it with you: "Language is the wine upon the lips." (Virginia Woolf) And I want to adapt it here, for you (and also for me). "If language is the wine upon the lips, than writing is savouring it with all one's senses." And that's exactly what you treat us with. So thank you for letting us savour the wine :)

    x

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  2. Oh I totally understand your words. I totally love writing too, but in the last years I feel like I've been losing my voice as the words no longer float as easily as they used to.
    I love everything you write, your inspirations and your photos too, so hopefully you'll keep on writing. As yourself, I've been writing mostly in english, but when I write in Portuguese it really becomes something else, something special :)

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  3. Long live LMJ. I sometimes wonder why I blog too, but it is for the same reasons as you. I wish I could write as well in Portuguese as you do in English. Come to think of it, I wish I could write as well in English. :)

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  4. Thank you all!
    This is the bit that makes the writing so much more rewarding, your encouraging comments!

    @cococita: you always leave me speechless and blushed with your kindness! I can't thank Bocky enough for introducing us!!

    @MIssLilly: sabes que sinto o mesmo? que em Inglês não é igual, que em Português as palavras fluem em prosa-poema? Eu escrevia aqui www.testaravida.wordpress.com Já não escrevo há um ano, mas ainda me identifico tanto com as palavras que lá deixei... :)

    @Plasma Engineer: thank you! I work hard to improve my English every day and I'm fortunate to know just the right people to help me on the journey :) including a certain Plasma Engineers who's meant to have lunch with me one of these days, soon? :)

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  5. I have been asking myself the same question: what is the point in blogging? The conclusion I came to is that you have to do it for yourself in the first place. If you enjoy it then continue! I'm starting afresh on my blog this year and to be honest not sure what I'm doing yet... I will figure it out as I go along :) writing in english is not easy but then I'm so not used to writing in portuguese anymore! :) I guess I will let my photos do most of the talking :)

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  6. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this website very often. I’m extremely impressed with your writing skills as well as with the layout on your blog.
    --------------------------------
    Thanh Le - HomeDesignLove.Com
    http://www.homedesignlove.com
    I'd be happy if you allow me to your blog list.

    ReplyDelete

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